Maybe I'll start doing this every Thursday lunch. We'll see. I always like talking to people about what they're playing and why. I guess I originally got the idea from gaming podcasts, mainly 1UP Yours and CGW Radio. By the way, those were amazing podcasts when the mainstays of 1UP were still around (Jeff Green, Shawn Elliot, Mark McDonald, Shane Bettenhausen, Luke Smith, Garnett Lee, John Davison, etc.) Such great memories. And we can't forget about the 1UP Show. Changing subject, getting sad!
Anyway, this will be my last weekend in St. Louis for a couple weeks, since I'm traveling again next week. We're going to Vegas for the Star Trek 50th Anniversary Convention. Also, I'll be soliciting advice for that this weekend, but feel free to leave any in the comments right now, in regards to what to expect, and how to go about making sure I get to all the panels I wanna see.
Anyway, the weekend is nearly upon us. Whatcha playin' this weekend?
I'm eyeballing lotsa Wasteland 2. I think I've said it before, but I have a terrible habit of not really giving my full attention to games that aren't in my core series, and this was a victim. ADD like a muthafucka. Now that I'm making myself focus when I play it, I'm really enjoying the hell out of it. And this game features some REALLY tough decisions. I love it, and as a big fan of Fallout, I really appreciate both the similarities and stark differences.
Guild Wars 2's Living World Season 3 has kicked off, and I am nowhere near ready. I'm still pushing through Living World Season 2, and I still have Heart of Thorns waiting, sooo ... I'm gonna continue catching up. I adore this game, but I took like two years off from it to play other MMOs.
I'm going to do another episode of my Deus Ex: Human Revolution: Director's Cut: Lotsa Colons series this weekend. In this series, I'm replaying DXHR (but the Director's Cut for the first time) to get myself refreshed for Mankind Divided. It's a fun series, and it's been cool to compare and contrast the game with other games that have more recently come out.
I'm also excited to get back to SWTOR. I've recently switched to a new guild, after dealing with a dying one all here, and holy shit, having an active guild makes a huge difference. Also, the Dark vs Light event is awesome. I might stream more of it, though the fact that I can't monetize the SWTOR videos is annoying. Anyway, I love this game so damn much, and I'm so glad that they got it back on track after a couple years of slumming it with dumb stuff like macrobinocular missions and starfighter and other nonsense. Knights of the Fallen Empire, eventually, became awesome, and if they carry that into Knights of the Eternal Throne, that will be awesome.
I still want a proper expansion, though.
Also, if you wanna try SWTOR, hit up my referral link, please.
Last, I wanna continue more of Fallout 4: Vault-Tec Workshop. I had a good time with it earlier this week, even though that type of DLC usually isn't my kinda thing. I'm more stoked for the Nuka World expac that's coming, which will be the final release for Fallout 4. I just prefer more story-driven material than the 'more shit to do' DLC. However, the Vault-Tec stuff is pretty rad.
And I think that's it, for now. I really should poke at I Am Setsuna more, but, the more I think about it, the more it didn't make a great first impression. We'll see, though. Maybe I was just in a bad mood at the time.
So, what about you? Whatcha playin' this weekend?
-Blaine
20160728
20160727
my dirty secret
I take a lot of shit for gaming primarily on PC. Yeah, I'll tease some of my friends about gaming primarily on a console, but I usually reserve it for when they complain about something silly.
Occasionally, though, they get really pissed. No matter how much I reinforce that my preferences are not condemnations, friends (and not friends) will still perceive my stances as a slight. If I say, 'my kids liked the WiiU,' I'm not saying you are a child if you like it. I don't really enjoy anything on the console (aside from Mario Maker, which I'd fucking love to see on PC), but that doesn't mean other people don't. It's all good, man.
And genres. Holy shit. I love RPGs. I don't have a huge amount of gaming time, so I like to settle into a main RPG and a handful of MMOs, and just kinda ride that for weeks or months. I find value in occasionally deviating out of my comfort zone, but again, it seems to bug people, or they take it personally that my tastes skew toward deep roleplaying games.
Frankly, I find great value in diversity. I think having multiple genres is a great thing, because gaming shouldn't be all one way. The best thing about it is that it can be anything to anyone. Whether you wanna flick your finger across your phone for some period of time, or hone your reflexes in a super-deep fighting game, or live out your sports dream in a sports game, or bury yourself in story and math in an RPG, it's all there. AND the best is when genres colllide, and new ideas are born.
Honestly, it's started to get so bad that I've been pulling back from the gaming world in general. Years ago, I started to disassociate myself with the term 'gamer,' because a) I didn't like what the community was becoming (or maybe I was growing out of it), and b) I don't like belonging to things anyway. I don't like labeling myself at all, because I feel like it constrains identity and ideas.
I like what I like. I've been playing RPGs since the day Final Fantasy first came out on the NES, and I've been at it since. I outgrew most of the other genres. I'm glad you like 2D platformers and FIFA and the latest PSN sale and Mario and Rocket League and on and on. For real, follow your bliss, but try and let me do the same. A world full of happier people is a good thing. We all face enough trials without tearing each other down over something as silly as gaming genres and plastic fucking boxes.
Moving on ...
I actually didn't come here to whine about people being mean to me. I actually came because I have a problem that's been brewing for years.
Back in the 90s, and early 2000s, I was poor. I was working shit jobs, and then finally went to college, but didn't start really earning until the last five years or so, at which point, I did the natural thing, and started migrating to PC.
Before that, though, I was purely a console gamer. I missed out on all the amazing cRPGs of the era, and in fact, didn't get really converted until Dragon Age: Origins. That was my first balls-out PC RPG, and yeah, I know it was multi-plat. I'd played KotOR and Jade Empire on Xbox prior to that, so I wasn't a total BioWare noob, but I never played Baldur's Gate, or any of the Black Isle games, or any of the Piranha Bytes games, or any of the Troika games, and on and on. I've occasionally gone back and played footsie with one of them, but I always abandon them to play the new shiny.
Or in the case of Icewind Dale, it's just too fucking hard. Or I don't understand what I'm doing.
To that end, though, I've been toying with the idea of slashing this year's purchase list, and starting to play through the following:
Divine Divinity
Fallout
Gothic
Baldur's Gate or Icewind Dale or Neverwinter Nights
Of course, I'm now focusing on Wasteland 2 and replaying DXHR. We'll see what happens. I've got Final Fantasy XV in the next couple months, DXMD next month, and Dishonored 2 in November. I'm guessing Deus Ex and Dishonored will both be pretty short, so maybe this fall and winter, I can finally rip through the classics.
And, naturally, I've loaded them with mods to modernize their look and feel.
Where do you think I should start? Any favorites, or other recommendations?
Alright, back to work. Thanks for reading.
Oh, and I'm going to append this post with some of my latest streaming fun.
-Blaine
Occasionally, though, they get really pissed. No matter how much I reinforce that my preferences are not condemnations, friends (and not friends) will still perceive my stances as a slight. If I say, 'my kids liked the WiiU,' I'm not saying you are a child if you like it. I don't really enjoy anything on the console (aside from Mario Maker, which I'd fucking love to see on PC), but that doesn't mean other people don't. It's all good, man.
And genres. Holy shit. I love RPGs. I don't have a huge amount of gaming time, so I like to settle into a main RPG and a handful of MMOs, and just kinda ride that for weeks or months. I find value in occasionally deviating out of my comfort zone, but again, it seems to bug people, or they take it personally that my tastes skew toward deep roleplaying games.
Frankly, I find great value in diversity. I think having multiple genres is a great thing, because gaming shouldn't be all one way. The best thing about it is that it can be anything to anyone. Whether you wanna flick your finger across your phone for some period of time, or hone your reflexes in a super-deep fighting game, or live out your sports dream in a sports game, or bury yourself in story and math in an RPG, it's all there. AND the best is when genres colllide, and new ideas are born.
Honestly, it's started to get so bad that I've been pulling back from the gaming world in general. Years ago, I started to disassociate myself with the term 'gamer,' because a) I didn't like what the community was becoming (or maybe I was growing out of it), and b) I don't like belonging to things anyway. I don't like labeling myself at all, because I feel like it constrains identity and ideas.
I like what I like. I've been playing RPGs since the day Final Fantasy first came out on the NES, and I've been at it since. I outgrew most of the other genres. I'm glad you like 2D platformers and FIFA and the latest PSN sale and Mario and Rocket League and on and on. For real, follow your bliss, but try and let me do the same. A world full of happier people is a good thing. We all face enough trials without tearing each other down over something as silly as gaming genres and plastic fucking boxes.
Moving on ...
I actually didn't come here to whine about people being mean to me. I actually came because I have a problem that's been brewing for years.
Back in the 90s, and early 2000s, I was poor. I was working shit jobs, and then finally went to college, but didn't start really earning until the last five years or so, at which point, I did the natural thing, and started migrating to PC.
Before that, though, I was purely a console gamer. I missed out on all the amazing cRPGs of the era, and in fact, didn't get really converted until Dragon Age: Origins. That was my first balls-out PC RPG, and yeah, I know it was multi-plat. I'd played KotOR and Jade Empire on Xbox prior to that, so I wasn't a total BioWare noob, but I never played Baldur's Gate, or any of the Black Isle games, or any of the Piranha Bytes games, or any of the Troika games, and on and on. I've occasionally gone back and played footsie with one of them, but I always abandon them to play the new shiny.
Or in the case of Icewind Dale, it's just too fucking hard. Or I don't understand what I'm doing.
To that end, though, I've been toying with the idea of slashing this year's purchase list, and starting to play through the following:
Divine Divinity
Fallout
Gothic
Baldur's Gate or Icewind Dale or Neverwinter Nights
Of course, I'm now focusing on Wasteland 2 and replaying DXHR. We'll see what happens. I've got Final Fantasy XV in the next couple months, DXMD next month, and Dishonored 2 in November. I'm guessing Deus Ex and Dishonored will both be pretty short, so maybe this fall and winter, I can finally rip through the classics.
And, naturally, I've loaded them with mods to modernize their look and feel.
Where do you think I should start? Any favorites, or other recommendations?
Alright, back to work. Thanks for reading.
Oh, and I'm going to append this post with some of my latest streaming fun.
-Blaine
20160726
time moves faster
It occurred to me that summer is winding down. Wow, that was fast.
My birthday, which was last week, always signals to me that it's time to hurry up and enjoy what's left of the scalding heat and beautiful sunshine.
To that end, my wife, oldest son, and I are going to Vegas next week for the Star Trek 50th Anniversary Convention. More on that later.
I enjoyed a nice, quiet bachelor weekend with my oldest boy this past weekend, while my wife and youngest went to visit her sister and parents, since it had been a few hours since we last did that. :P
Many great trailers were beaming out of Comic-Con, but we actually mostly just gamed, ate, and went and saw the latest generic summer action film that was branded with 'Star Trek.' It was actually an enjoyable film, and I appreciated that it at least attempted to connect with the last sliver of canon that this trilogy didn't delete. Really, I appreciated that, and I wish they'd kill this splinter of the series, restore the canon, apologize, and get back to making real television/internet Star Trek.
Which they sorta are. The generic summer action film series is continuing, but a teaser was shown for Star Trek: Discovery at Comic-Con and I hope, so deeply, that they do a big reveal at the convention next week.
Take a look:
What's interesting is that some of the press materials and official language I've seen surrounding this new series hammer home two key points:
1. this has nothing to do with the current Paramount films nonsense
2. the name 'Discovery' ties into everything they're trying to do with this show
Both of these points send my heart soaring. Star Trek isn't about blowing shit up and LOLing at a science fiction film featuring an overrated Beastie Boys track. It's about bringing the best of humanity out by being part of a larger galactic community and expanding our knowledge and seeing what's out there. The spirit of adventure, coupled with empathy and the need to better oneself, is what drives this franchise, and it's why I love it so dearly. I love Star Wars and Star Trek equally, and they balance me.
Anyway, I get way too worked up about this shit. It's been too long since we've had real Star Trek, even though I understand why the franchise needed to go away for a while.
Along these lines, I was thinking the other day about how 2005 was such a dramatic year of changes for me. It's kinda shocking to look back upon, actually.
In 2005, I got married, the final new Star Trek aired, the final Star Wars film came out, my first child was born, and the Busch Stadium in which I'd basically grown up was knocked down. All in the span of like 10-11 months. It was a year of endings and beginnings.
Except it wasn't. It was a year of beginnings. Star Wars was passed into more caring hands. A new, frankly better, Busch Stadium (and though I don't allow myself to feel nostalgia, I feel nostalgic about that old park) was built. Star Trek went away for a while, and the generic summer action series that was technically branded as Star Trek probably helped revitalize interest in the franchise (actually, I think the resurgence of Star Wars had more to do with that, but that's a different argument), and now it looks like the real Star Trek is coming back, And I hope it ignores the generic summer action films that were technically branded as Star Trek.
But I digress.
Let's wrap this up.
Real quick - I randomly started playing Wasteland 2 again the other day. I don't know why I stopped. Actually, I do. I have a terrible habit of not really investing fully in games when I play them. I let my mind wander, I try to multitask, and really, all I end up doing is not getting the full experience. I played more Wasteland 2 with my attention totally dialed in, and it's a fucking great game. It's really my kinda game. Lotsa story, lotsa strategy, lotsa math, and a fucking fantastic world. You need not have played the first game. I gotta say that inXile is easily on the level of Obsidian and BioWare (which makes a lotta sense once you start looking at developer family trees.)
I'll talk more gaming soon. And I got more to say about Comic-Con.
-Blaine
My birthday, which was last week, always signals to me that it's time to hurry up and enjoy what's left of the scalding heat and beautiful sunshine.
To that end, my wife, oldest son, and I are going to Vegas next week for the Star Trek 50th Anniversary Convention. More on that later.
I enjoyed a nice, quiet bachelor weekend with my oldest boy this past weekend, while my wife and youngest went to visit her sister and parents, since it had been a few hours since we last did that. :P
Many great trailers were beaming out of Comic-Con, but we actually mostly just gamed, ate, and went and saw the latest generic summer action film that was branded with 'Star Trek.' It was actually an enjoyable film, and I appreciated that it at least attempted to connect with the last sliver of canon that this trilogy didn't delete. Really, I appreciated that, and I wish they'd kill this splinter of the series, restore the canon, apologize, and get back to making real television/internet Star Trek.
Which they sorta are. The generic summer action film series is continuing, but a teaser was shown for Star Trek: Discovery at Comic-Con and I hope, so deeply, that they do a big reveal at the convention next week.
Take a look:
What's interesting is that some of the press materials and official language I've seen surrounding this new series hammer home two key points:
1. this has nothing to do with the current Paramount films nonsense
2. the name 'Discovery' ties into everything they're trying to do with this show
Both of these points send my heart soaring. Star Trek isn't about blowing shit up and LOLing at a science fiction film featuring an overrated Beastie Boys track. It's about bringing the best of humanity out by being part of a larger galactic community and expanding our knowledge and seeing what's out there. The spirit of adventure, coupled with empathy and the need to better oneself, is what drives this franchise, and it's why I love it so dearly. I love Star Wars and Star Trek equally, and they balance me.
Anyway, I get way too worked up about this shit. It's been too long since we've had real Star Trek, even though I understand why the franchise needed to go away for a while.
Along these lines, I was thinking the other day about how 2005 was such a dramatic year of changes for me. It's kinda shocking to look back upon, actually.
In 2005, I got married, the final new Star Trek aired, the final Star Wars film came out, my first child was born, and the Busch Stadium in which I'd basically grown up was knocked down. All in the span of like 10-11 months. It was a year of endings and beginnings.
Except it wasn't. It was a year of beginnings. Star Wars was passed into more caring hands. A new, frankly better, Busch Stadium (and though I don't allow myself to feel nostalgia, I feel nostalgic about that old park) was built. Star Trek went away for a while, and the generic summer action series that was technically branded as Star Trek probably helped revitalize interest in the franchise (actually, I think the resurgence of Star Wars had more to do with that, but that's a different argument), and now it looks like the real Star Trek is coming back, And I hope it ignores the generic summer action films that were technically branded as Star Trek.
But I digress.
Let's wrap this up.
Real quick - I randomly started playing Wasteland 2 again the other day. I don't know why I stopped. Actually, I do. I have a terrible habit of not really investing fully in games when I play them. I let my mind wander, I try to multitask, and really, all I end up doing is not getting the full experience. I played more Wasteland 2 with my attention totally dialed in, and it's a fucking great game. It's really my kinda game. Lotsa story, lotsa strategy, lotsa math, and a fucking fantastic world. You need not have played the first game. I gotta say that inXile is easily on the level of Obsidian and BioWare (which makes a lotta sense once you start looking at developer family trees.)
I'll talk more gaming soon. And I got more to say about Comic-Con.
-Blaine
20160720
Boss Fights Suck
OK, let's see if I can formulate this into a coherent series of words.
I'm actually OK with boss fights. In fact, I even enjoy a lot of them. Among my favorites are the final (real) battle in Final Fantasy VII, the final boss in Divinity: Original Sin, the final battle in Pillars of Eternity, and basically just about anything that doesn't rely on twitchy responses.
I'm actually not bad in really twitchy games. If needed, I can become quite proficient. It's just not how I want to spend my time.
See, I don't allow a huge amount of time in my life for gaming, even though I love it. It's probably my favorite hobby. But I also believe in having a rich, diverse life. I have so many great things, and time is now my most precious resource. I have two amazing children, a fantastic wife, a really cool job, plus I make time three times a week to exercise with a friend and take care of my body, plus I have interests outside of gaming, so I'm basically a weekend warrior. I usually set aside time for maybe one big play session, and I might be able to sneak in a second one. Especially during the summer, time is just tight. During the summer, I actually struggle mightily to hold it together because my days are so dense, and spend all day from 530-2130 going from commitment to commitment to commitment. It's not ideal, but it's where we are in life right now.
OK, let's make a point, shall we?
So, knowing that I don't have a huge amount of time for gaming, but a pretty wicked brain, if I can use my vast intelligence and understanding of the game's systems to 1) over-level myself to ensure minimal enemy resistance, and 2) still be challenged a bit in strategic combat, I'm good.
What I don't like is the final battle in The Witcher 3: Blood and Wine. It took me back to the original Ninja Gaiden on NES, and that game's horrendous final boss. It's in three stages, and if you die, you start at the very beginning of the battle. Right there, I was frustrated. On top of that, with imprecise movements, you can die in just a couple hits. And too much healing poisons you.
It was bizarre, too, because nowhere else in the game, or any of its expansions, is there a cheap-shit, cheesedick fucking boss fight like this.
But, I refused to give up, and actually repeated the fight more times than I normally allow myself, because I was so committed to ending the game last weekend.
I think the expected behavior is that I'd experience a sense of relief and accomplishment once I defeated the boss. Instead, when I defeated him, I felt intense annoyance at the shit I'd just had to wade through in an otherwise pristine and wonderful experience. And yeah, I was playing on baby bitch settings. I'd had other fights that were challenging along the way, but I was always able to get them within a few tries, and they allowed some margin of error. This did not. This was, even on baby bitch, stupidly hard.
The Witcher games are an exception for me. I tend to play mostly pause-and-play or turn-based RPGs, but each of the Witcher titles have featured a pretty fun and engaging approach to battle, and I can make it easy enough that it's still fun for me.
Understand, too, that I'm not condemning your love of Dark Souls. I tried it once. Not my cup of tea. But, I get why that's fun for some people. Me? I prefer to chill. I like using my brain and planning moves, as if I'm playing chess. I don't prefer intensity in my down-time. I like to chill. I spend nearly every moment of every day being extremely fired up and intense, and when I game, I wanna experience a story and some light strategy.
It's kinda the same way I feel about obnoxious puzzle-solving in games. Puzzles are fine. Obtuse puzzles that require a web search are a waste of my fucking time.
Side note - you know who does puzzles well? Naughty Dog. You know who does puzzles well and demands that you stop thinking about games like they're games? Larian Studios.
I used to be super-open about gaming experiences. I used to grab whatever the latest hotness was, regardless of genre, because it's what the cats at EGM and CGW were playing. I ended up with a sizable pile of unfinished games. As I got older, I made my interests less horizontal and more vertical. I now play lots and lots of RPGs, from the big AAA stuff to the smaller indie titles, so long as it's an RPG.
Occasionally, I'll succumb to peer pressure and try out one of those cutesy indie platforming games, and I'll enjoy it, but I think that's enhanced by the fact that I rarely play them. And it seems like a lot of the guys that makes those games are pretentious dickbags.
What about you? What's your threshold for feeling like your time is being wasted in a game? What was one of the most rage-inducing moments you've ever had in a game?
Oh, and I played the first hour of I Am Setsuna last night ... check it out ... I have some warm feelings for it, but also some uncomfortable ones. I'm still formulating an opinion on it, and ... well, I need to play more first. I know it's not fashionable, but I'm actually not rushing forward with an opinion.
I'm one year closer to 40 soon. I'm actually not at all upset or worried about it. Each decade I've earned has been better than the one immediately preceding it. My 30s have been better than my 20s which were better than my teens. Let's see how long this can continue.
Alright, chill time over. Back to the grind.
Oh, and Comic-Con is this weekend. We need to talk about that soon.
-Blaine
I'm actually OK with boss fights. In fact, I even enjoy a lot of them. Among my favorites are the final (real) battle in Final Fantasy VII, the final boss in Divinity: Original Sin, the final battle in Pillars of Eternity, and basically just about anything that doesn't rely on twitchy responses.
I'm actually not bad in really twitchy games. If needed, I can become quite proficient. It's just not how I want to spend my time.
See, I don't allow a huge amount of time in my life for gaming, even though I love it. It's probably my favorite hobby. But I also believe in having a rich, diverse life. I have so many great things, and time is now my most precious resource. I have two amazing children, a fantastic wife, a really cool job, plus I make time three times a week to exercise with a friend and take care of my body, plus I have interests outside of gaming, so I'm basically a weekend warrior. I usually set aside time for maybe one big play session, and I might be able to sneak in a second one. Especially during the summer, time is just tight. During the summer, I actually struggle mightily to hold it together because my days are so dense, and spend all day from 530-2130 going from commitment to commitment to commitment. It's not ideal, but it's where we are in life right now.
OK, let's make a point, shall we?
So, knowing that I don't have a huge amount of time for gaming, but a pretty wicked brain, if I can use my vast intelligence and understanding of the game's systems to 1) over-level myself to ensure minimal enemy resistance, and 2) still be challenged a bit in strategic combat, I'm good.
What I don't like is the final battle in The Witcher 3: Blood and Wine. It took me back to the original Ninja Gaiden on NES, and that game's horrendous final boss. It's in three stages, and if you die, you start at the very beginning of the battle. Right there, I was frustrated. On top of that, with imprecise movements, you can die in just a couple hits. And too much healing poisons you.
It was bizarre, too, because nowhere else in the game, or any of its expansions, is there a cheap-shit, cheesedick fucking boss fight like this.
But, I refused to give up, and actually repeated the fight more times than I normally allow myself, because I was so committed to ending the game last weekend.
I think the expected behavior is that I'd experience a sense of relief and accomplishment once I defeated the boss. Instead, when I defeated him, I felt intense annoyance at the shit I'd just had to wade through in an otherwise pristine and wonderful experience. And yeah, I was playing on baby bitch settings. I'd had other fights that were challenging along the way, but I was always able to get them within a few tries, and they allowed some margin of error. This did not. This was, even on baby bitch, stupidly hard.
The Witcher games are an exception for me. I tend to play mostly pause-and-play or turn-based RPGs, but each of the Witcher titles have featured a pretty fun and engaging approach to battle, and I can make it easy enough that it's still fun for me.
Understand, too, that I'm not condemning your love of Dark Souls. I tried it once. Not my cup of tea. But, I get why that's fun for some people. Me? I prefer to chill. I like using my brain and planning moves, as if I'm playing chess. I don't prefer intensity in my down-time. I like to chill. I spend nearly every moment of every day being extremely fired up and intense, and when I game, I wanna experience a story and some light strategy.
It's kinda the same way I feel about obnoxious puzzle-solving in games. Puzzles are fine. Obtuse puzzles that require a web search are a waste of my fucking time.
Side note - you know who does puzzles well? Naughty Dog. You know who does puzzles well and demands that you stop thinking about games like they're games? Larian Studios.
I used to be super-open about gaming experiences. I used to grab whatever the latest hotness was, regardless of genre, because it's what the cats at EGM and CGW were playing. I ended up with a sizable pile of unfinished games. As I got older, I made my interests less horizontal and more vertical. I now play lots and lots of RPGs, from the big AAA stuff to the smaller indie titles, so long as it's an RPG.
Occasionally, I'll succumb to peer pressure and try out one of those cutesy indie platforming games, and I'll enjoy it, but I think that's enhanced by the fact that I rarely play them. And it seems like a lot of the guys that makes those games are pretentious dickbags.
What about you? What's your threshold for feeling like your time is being wasted in a game? What was one of the most rage-inducing moments you've ever had in a game?
Oh, and I played the first hour of I Am Setsuna last night ... check it out ... I have some warm feelings for it, but also some uncomfortable ones. I'm still formulating an opinion on it, and ... well, I need to play more first. I know it's not fashionable, but I'm actually not rushing forward with an opinion.
I'm one year closer to 40 soon. I'm actually not at all upset or worried about it. Each decade I've earned has been better than the one immediately preceding it. My 30s have been better than my 20s which were better than my teens. Let's see how long this can continue.
Alright, chill time over. Back to the grind.
Oh, and Comic-Con is this weekend. We need to talk about that soon.
-Blaine
20160719
Killing Time
Few things are as likely to flip me out as my work computer rebooting while I'm coding, especially when it's updates forced by group policy. Time that shit so it's off-hours, moron. GAH. Anyway, I'm being forced to take a few minutes, so I thought I'd throw something up here real quick.
Star Wars Celebration was this past weekend, and it was very cool. I always really enjoy the panels, and the Thrawn announcement had me spasming in my chair.
I finished Blood and Wine (the final expac from the final Witcher game), and it was a really emotional experience. Geralt, the main character, and I have been adventuring together in both games and novels for about a decade now, and it was tough knowing that was our final new adventure together, at least with a mouse and keyboard. It was a beautiful experience, except a horrendously difficult final boss battle. Seriously, the shit was on the level of the final boss in the original Ninja Gaiden (NES), which was fun when I was 10, but not fun as I approach 40.
Regardless, it was both beautiful and heartbreaking, and I am truly grateful to CDPR for the amazing and excellent trilogy. Playing through the trilogy was an experience that brought me a lot of joy and reshaped what I thought games could be.
I'm also enjoying the new SWTOR event, Dark vs Light. It's kinda like Diablo 3 Seasons. You roll a new toon for the event, blast through content, and your Light vs Dark decisions add up and contribute to an overall score game-wide. And leveling is insane now. I finished the first planet at double the level you're supposed to be.
It's also cool seeing the OG content again, AND general chat was the least toxic I've ever seen it. It's a lot of fun.
Also, SWTOR got a cool new expac announced at Celebration, Knights of the Eternal Throne. I can't wait to check it out later this year. If the last few episodes of Knights of the Fallen Empire are an indication of quality, KotET is gonna be great.
Last, I Am Setsuna hits today, which has me spazzing completely. It looks to be a blatant throwback to Chrono Trigger, and it's from Squenix's Tokyo RPG Factory. It unlocks in a couple hours, and I plan to stream it tonight.
And that's it for now. I'll probably be back for a bit at lunch. I want to discuss boss battles in the modern era.
-Blaine
Star Wars Celebration was this past weekend, and it was very cool. I always really enjoy the panels, and the Thrawn announcement had me spasming in my chair.
I finished Blood and Wine (the final expac from the final Witcher game), and it was a really emotional experience. Geralt, the main character, and I have been adventuring together in both games and novels for about a decade now, and it was tough knowing that was our final new adventure together, at least with a mouse and keyboard. It was a beautiful experience, except a horrendously difficult final boss battle. Seriously, the shit was on the level of the final boss in the original Ninja Gaiden (NES), which was fun when I was 10, but not fun as I approach 40.
Regardless, it was both beautiful and heartbreaking, and I am truly grateful to CDPR for the amazing and excellent trilogy. Playing through the trilogy was an experience that brought me a lot of joy and reshaped what I thought games could be.
I'm also enjoying the new SWTOR event, Dark vs Light. It's kinda like Diablo 3 Seasons. You roll a new toon for the event, blast through content, and your Light vs Dark decisions add up and contribute to an overall score game-wide. And leveling is insane now. I finished the first planet at double the level you're supposed to be.
It's also cool seeing the OG content again, AND general chat was the least toxic I've ever seen it. It's a lot of fun.
Also, SWTOR got a cool new expac announced at Celebration, Knights of the Eternal Throne. I can't wait to check it out later this year. If the last few episodes of Knights of the Fallen Empire are an indication of quality, KotET is gonna be great.
Last, I Am Setsuna hits today, which has me spazzing completely. It looks to be a blatant throwback to Chrono Trigger, and it's from Squenix's Tokyo RPG Factory. It unlocks in a couple hours, and I plan to stream it tonight.
And that's it for now. I'll probably be back for a bit at lunch. I want to discuss boss battles in the modern era.
-Blaine
20160714
Yeah, it's like that, but whatever
I'm a bad bloggist today. I'm almost in awe of how busy I've been lately.
Regardless, I wanted to share my enthusiasm for the upcoming Star Wars Celebration, and in particular, its live stream.
SWC starts tomorrow, and they'll be streaming from London live. The SWC stream last year was TREMENDOUS. In particular, the Force Awakens panel, and the on-stage stuff with Mark Hamill, and especially Carrie Fisher were fantastic. This year's looks just as awesome. Check it out.
Otherwise, I'm just hoping to catch my breath. Fuck being busy. I hate being busy. I don't mind moving fast, but I'm a very deliberate person, and I badly need to just chill.
I'm much looking forward to kicking back with some Star Wars interviews, trailers, and more all weekend. While I play some games. Maybe some Shadowrun Dragonfall? More Blood and Wine? My second Dragon Age Inquisition playthrough? Hmm. I still haven't played the latest Knights of the Fallen Empire chapter.
And, I wanna stream some of my own stuff. Anything you wanna see me play?
Alright, back to work. What do you got going on this weekend?
-Blaine
Regardless, I wanted to share my enthusiasm for the upcoming Star Wars Celebration, and in particular, its live stream.
SWC starts tomorrow, and they'll be streaming from London live. The SWC stream last year was TREMENDOUS. In particular, the Force Awakens panel, and the on-stage stuff with Mark Hamill, and especially Carrie Fisher were fantastic. This year's looks just as awesome. Check it out.
Otherwise, I'm just hoping to catch my breath. Fuck being busy. I hate being busy. I don't mind moving fast, but I'm a very deliberate person, and I badly need to just chill.
I'm much looking forward to kicking back with some Star Wars interviews, trailers, and more all weekend. While I play some games. Maybe some Shadowrun Dragonfall? More Blood and Wine? My second Dragon Age Inquisition playthrough? Hmm. I still haven't played the latest Knights of the Fallen Empire chapter.
And, I wanna stream some of my own stuff. Anything you wanna see me play?
Alright, back to work. What do you got going on this weekend?
-Blaine
20160713
The Trick is to Keep Breathing
Yeah, so that Garbage show last night was amazing. I've been a fan for 20 years, and this was the first time I've seen them live. For a few reasons, I'd not seen them before last night.
For those that don't know, I was a pretty active musician back in the 90s, even recorded a record, and made a little noise in the local scene. We weren't a major act, by any means, but we met with some moderate success.
Music has always been a passion of mine, and for a long time, it was what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I'm a guitarist, a fair singer, and dabble in other instruments. I've written and recorded songs, played shows, and enjoyed a lot of the good and bad things that come with that.
I don't really think much on the past. I'm just not that kinda person. However, music is my time machine. Songs come on, and if I'm not careful, can sometimes violently yank me back to times about which I'd not thought in a decade or two, causing a torrent of dusty feelings to cough and wheeze. I'm rarely prepared for it, but I have a decent poker face.
I can't tell you exactly when something happened, but I can tell you what albums I was obsessed with at the time. I tie memory to music, not dates. That's not intentional. It's just how I've always been, even as a kid.
The Garbage show was sorta surreal. I took a longtime buddy, someone with whom I've shared my Garbage fandom for the long haul, and someone that I've been very close to for a long time. He was also in the old band. We grabbed a bite at the excellent Blueberry Hill for dinner, where we ran into another old buddy, who was also part of the old band, and the three of us used to be super-tight until shit just got complicated by diverging paths in adulthood.
Still, it was a really cool moment.
Then, we headed to the show ...
... so, the whole reason I got into Garbage, back in the day, was mainly because of a girl. Up to that point, I'd been firmly entrenched in the 'real rock' scene, the stuff where every sound was made by a guitar, bass, drums, or vocalist, and I wasn't having this 'electronic' stuff. I didn't hate it, at all, but it just wasn't something I sought out or allowed myself to enjoy.
Then She started catching my attention. She was hot, she was funny, she was stylish, she was smart, and, most importantly, she could match my intensity.
She'd hang out at my work sometimes, we'd shoot the shit, but she'd also challenge some of my views about music. Looking back, I was ridiculously close-minded, and she'd let me know. On one particular day in 1996, she was harassing me about Garbage, and finally got me to grudgingly admit that 'Stupid Girl' was a pretty catchy tune. After that, she kept insisting that I needed the record, and finally, I told her that I was stuck at work for a while, but if she wanted, I'd give her $20 and she could run down the street and get it for me. She did.
Later that year, we fell in love and started dating. It was a really intense relationship, and brought both great and bad things to each of our lives. In the end, I wasn't equipped to be in a romantic relationship at the time, and she needed to spread her wings and grow. We took turns being really terrible to each other, which ended predictably, and featured some of my most shameful behavior ever.
Since then, we've run into each other, and have become very cordial, at a distance. And that's fine. I'm embarrassed and ashamed of some of the things I said to her at various times.
Looking back, as an adult, I'm now able to look back at the situation and realize that I vilified her for being a young human. She wasn't real honest with me at times, about some pretty big things, and I totally flipped out on her, and repeatedly hurt her back (with words and attempts at manipulation.)
Regardless, the end (I think, unless I'm forgetting some crucial detail, which I've done before) was me dumping her via voicemail the night we were both supposed to go see her favorite band ever, Garbage, for the first time. The time before that hadn't worked out. It was a huge night for her, and I timed it for maximum heartbreak and maximum 'fuck you.' I was ashamed at the time, but I was also totally consumed by the need to prove something. As time went by, it continued to bug me ... until I did other stupid shit in another relationship, and I FINALLY figured out that I needed to check myself and overhaul my approach to love.
I did, and I've been happily married for 11 years now.
So, last night.
She was there. I knew she was going to be there. We don't really talk, but I'm continually hoping to hook up a friend of hers with a friend of mine, because they'd be great for each other, and ... well, whatever. Her friend and I mentioned to each other that we're both going, and mentioned who we're going with. Not a big deal. She and I haven't had any drama or intensity or much communication at all for a long, long time. As in, none at all in this century.
And while I'm not totally dead inside at the sight of her, nor am I falling all over myself with emotion.
It dawned on me last night that I have no idea if she ever saw her favorite band, Garbage, before last night. I don't know what happened after I left her that voicemail and we then had a brief conversation about the voice mail. I was unkind and smug, and yeah ... I never really thought about what happened after that. I think I went and got drunk by myself on the apartment balcony. I have no idea what happened with her.
So, last night, my buddy and I were up on the balcony at the Pageant, and she and her group were down in the pit, directly in our line of sight. We waved to each other briefly. Once the set started, it was ... emotional. I didn't feel any kind of absolution, but much of the music was so evocative of our time together, it became the first time I'd really thought about the relationship we'd had, but with an adult's mind and heart. I judged her way too harshly, and was emotionally brutal to a girl that was just young and didn't know a better way to handle an intense and complicated relationship. We were both young.
To further intensify the situation, many of Shirley Manson's lyrics, both back then, and now, describe a lot our interactions and relationship. I had tears in my eyes a few times, and I'm a guy that, now, keeps myself under intense emotional restraints.
It was an amazing experience, and I actually felt some kind of closure. There were songs that reminded me of us being young, naked, and laughing, and other songs that reminded me of sitting in a car, tears on my face, wondering what she and that guy were doing. I'm sure it was raining or something during the latter memory.
That was my life back then, man. Romance and intensity. I know I keep using that word, but that's really the word when it came to her and me. We were an intense couple.
Obviously, there's a lotta detail that I'm leaving out here, out of respect for both her and me.
And there's a lot more to my connection with Garbage than just her and me, but that was kinda the impetus. Beyond that, Garbage, and a few other bands, are the soundtrack to my life. Their third record is the first record that came out after I fled St. Louis for Chicago, to start over. Their fourth record came out right around the time my wife and I married, and she moved into my tiny one-bedroom apartment. Their fifth record came out when some of us from 'the old days' briefly reconnected for a couple months, before things blew up again. Their sixth record came out, and I think I'll always tie it to last night's experience.
In all, it was a crash between the past and the present, but it was a really sweet, emotional experience. I shared it with the exact right buddy, the band's performance was top-notch, the music was incredible, and I got to sort some things out that probably needed sorting out.
Anyway, friends, my takeaway is that it's OK to revise and soften your feelings about the past. And maybe, like in this case, it takes almost 20 years, but I actually feel a little better about things, and it's not like this was eating away at me every day. I just feel a little more chill. I dunno. Whatever.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading.
What about you? Have you ever had a really intense concert experience that led you to some grand personal revelation? I've actually had a few now, and I think few things are as close to a 'spiritual experience' as I'll ever have as a great live show.
-Blaine
For those that don't know, I was a pretty active musician back in the 90s, even recorded a record, and made a little noise in the local scene. We weren't a major act, by any means, but we met with some moderate success.
Music has always been a passion of mine, and for a long time, it was what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I'm a guitarist, a fair singer, and dabble in other instruments. I've written and recorded songs, played shows, and enjoyed a lot of the good and bad things that come with that.
I don't really think much on the past. I'm just not that kinda person. However, music is my time machine. Songs come on, and if I'm not careful, can sometimes violently yank me back to times about which I'd not thought in a decade or two, causing a torrent of dusty feelings to cough and wheeze. I'm rarely prepared for it, but I have a decent poker face.
I can't tell you exactly when something happened, but I can tell you what albums I was obsessed with at the time. I tie memory to music, not dates. That's not intentional. It's just how I've always been, even as a kid.
The Garbage show was sorta surreal. I took a longtime buddy, someone with whom I've shared my Garbage fandom for the long haul, and someone that I've been very close to for a long time. He was also in the old band. We grabbed a bite at the excellent Blueberry Hill for dinner, where we ran into another old buddy, who was also part of the old band, and the three of us used to be super-tight until shit just got complicated by diverging paths in adulthood.
Still, it was a really cool moment.
Then, we headed to the show ...
... so, the whole reason I got into Garbage, back in the day, was mainly because of a girl. Up to that point, I'd been firmly entrenched in the 'real rock' scene, the stuff where every sound was made by a guitar, bass, drums, or vocalist, and I wasn't having this 'electronic' stuff. I didn't hate it, at all, but it just wasn't something I sought out or allowed myself to enjoy.
Then She started catching my attention. She was hot, she was funny, she was stylish, she was smart, and, most importantly, she could match my intensity.
She'd hang out at my work sometimes, we'd shoot the shit, but she'd also challenge some of my views about music. Looking back, I was ridiculously close-minded, and she'd let me know. On one particular day in 1996, she was harassing me about Garbage, and finally got me to grudgingly admit that 'Stupid Girl' was a pretty catchy tune. After that, she kept insisting that I needed the record, and finally, I told her that I was stuck at work for a while, but if she wanted, I'd give her $20 and she could run down the street and get it for me. She did.
Later that year, we fell in love and started dating. It was a really intense relationship, and brought both great and bad things to each of our lives. In the end, I wasn't equipped to be in a romantic relationship at the time, and she needed to spread her wings and grow. We took turns being really terrible to each other, which ended predictably, and featured some of my most shameful behavior ever.
Since then, we've run into each other, and have become very cordial, at a distance. And that's fine. I'm embarrassed and ashamed of some of the things I said to her at various times.
Looking back, as an adult, I'm now able to look back at the situation and realize that I vilified her for being a young human. She wasn't real honest with me at times, about some pretty big things, and I totally flipped out on her, and repeatedly hurt her back (with words and attempts at manipulation.)
Regardless, the end (I think, unless I'm forgetting some crucial detail, which I've done before) was me dumping her via voicemail the night we were both supposed to go see her favorite band ever, Garbage, for the first time. The time before that hadn't worked out. It was a huge night for her, and I timed it for maximum heartbreak and maximum 'fuck you.' I was ashamed at the time, but I was also totally consumed by the need to prove something. As time went by, it continued to bug me ... until I did other stupid shit in another relationship, and I FINALLY figured out that I needed to check myself and overhaul my approach to love.
I did, and I've been happily married for 11 years now.
So, last night.
She was there. I knew she was going to be there. We don't really talk, but I'm continually hoping to hook up a friend of hers with a friend of mine, because they'd be great for each other, and ... well, whatever. Her friend and I mentioned to each other that we're both going, and mentioned who we're going with. Not a big deal. She and I haven't had any drama or intensity or much communication at all for a long, long time. As in, none at all in this century.
And while I'm not totally dead inside at the sight of her, nor am I falling all over myself with emotion.
It dawned on me last night that I have no idea if she ever saw her favorite band, Garbage, before last night. I don't know what happened after I left her that voicemail and we then had a brief conversation about the voice mail. I was unkind and smug, and yeah ... I never really thought about what happened after that. I think I went and got drunk by myself on the apartment balcony. I have no idea what happened with her.
So, last night, my buddy and I were up on the balcony at the Pageant, and she and her group were down in the pit, directly in our line of sight. We waved to each other briefly. Once the set started, it was ... emotional. I didn't feel any kind of absolution, but much of the music was so evocative of our time together, it became the first time I'd really thought about the relationship we'd had, but with an adult's mind and heart. I judged her way too harshly, and was emotionally brutal to a girl that was just young and didn't know a better way to handle an intense and complicated relationship. We were both young.
To further intensify the situation, many of Shirley Manson's lyrics, both back then, and now, describe a lot our interactions and relationship. I had tears in my eyes a few times, and I'm a guy that, now, keeps myself under intense emotional restraints.
It was an amazing experience, and I actually felt some kind of closure. There were songs that reminded me of us being young, naked, and laughing, and other songs that reminded me of sitting in a car, tears on my face, wondering what she and that guy were doing. I'm sure it was raining or something during the latter memory.
That was my life back then, man. Romance and intensity. I know I keep using that word, but that's really the word when it came to her and me. We were an intense couple.
Obviously, there's a lotta detail that I'm leaving out here, out of respect for both her and me.
And there's a lot more to my connection with Garbage than just her and me, but that was kinda the impetus. Beyond that, Garbage, and a few other bands, are the soundtrack to my life. Their third record is the first record that came out after I fled St. Louis for Chicago, to start over. Their fourth record came out right around the time my wife and I married, and she moved into my tiny one-bedroom apartment. Their fifth record came out when some of us from 'the old days' briefly reconnected for a couple months, before things blew up again. Their sixth record came out, and I think I'll always tie it to last night's experience.
In all, it was a crash between the past and the present, but it was a really sweet, emotional experience. I shared it with the exact right buddy, the band's performance was top-notch, the music was incredible, and I got to sort some things out that probably needed sorting out.
Anyway, friends, my takeaway is that it's OK to revise and soften your feelings about the past. And maybe, like in this case, it takes almost 20 years, but I actually feel a little better about things, and it's not like this was eating away at me every day. I just feel a little more chill. I dunno. Whatever.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading.
What about you? Have you ever had a really intense concert experience that led you to some grand personal revelation? I've actually had a few now, and I think few things are as close to a 'spiritual experience' as I'll ever have as a great live show.
-Blaine
20160712
Just Another Manic ... Tuesday?
I think I'm just going through a rough patch. I've been letting stupid shit get to me, which I'm too old and too experienced to be doing. Nothing major, nothing dramatic, but I'm getting a full head of steam when I should just roll with stuff. Some of it's work-related, some of it's paranoia, some of it's anxiety, and some of it is just that I feel so busy all the time.
Summers are pretty crazy around our house, and I'd bet that's actually pretty common, especially in cases in which the household features multiple children and two adults that both work (me, full time, her, part time + grad school). Summers are just busy.
That just seems wrong, though. I get the logic of why summers are so busy, but in my mind, summers should be when I slow things down and enjoy myself. If I were to pick one season in which to be busy, I'd pick winter.Winter is typically a pretty miserable season anyway, and it'd be nice to keep myself too occupied to notice.
I need to avoid statements like that, actually. Saying things like that just locks my mind into a single expected outcome. I need to be open to the possibility that winter can be great.
ANYWAY.
I've had about my fill of aggravation today. One of my personal challenges is that I lose perspective when I reach a certain level of aggravation, and I can't tell if someone is just trying to fuck with me or if they're just going about their business. I need to be a professional, not lose perspective, and just go about my business.
And my temper has been ... bad, lately. I haven't melted down, blown up, or anything like that, but I've had too many situations recently in which I've had to bite my tongue, recuse myself, or just leave the room for a bit. Most of them have been professional. What's tough, too, is that I work with a solid team of super-smart people, and most of the time, they're right on about stuff, which means that I need to be checking myself, and figuring out what's malfunctioning within me.
One x-factor is that I quit smoking about 5-6 weeks ago (maybe a little more), after over a little over 20 years of being a smoker. I'm thrilled with that choice, and I'm not going back, and I can't tell if that's having an impact.
Maybe it'll pass.
And it's not like things are bad right now. I'm letting minutiae dominate my view, but I'm also aware of the positives in life. My job still rocks, and when I'm not getting in my own way, I really enjoy it. My wife is amazing, and that's not just lip service. I really feel lighter and more at ease when we're able to spend time together. My kids are just fantastic and are, in many ways, charting the course for this family. I still love my gaming, when I have time to do it a little on the weekends. TIME. Ack.
I'm glad I'm recording this here, though. It'll be interesting to compare in a year, and see how I feel.
On the plus side, I am going to see Garbage tonight, for the first time. We (buddy and I) were supposed to see them like 20 years ago. They were gonna open for Smashing Pumpkins, and we were gonna leave after their set, so we didn't have to sit through the Pumpkins again (we'd seen them a few times, and they were also 'blah'). Unfortunately, the new keyboardist in the Pumpkins died, the tour got delayed, and Garbage went and did their own thing. Another time, I was gonna see them with a girlfriend who loved Garbage, but she and I had been in a pretty toxic pattern for like three years, so I dumped her via voicemail right before her first time seeing her favorite band ever. Yeah, that was a totally shit move, and it came back on me, as it should have.
Regardless, here we are, 20 years later, and I'm finally seeing them tonight. I've been a big fan for a long time, and I'm looking forward to it, even if it means I'll be exhausted tomorrow. That's gonna be the hardest part, actually.
Anyway, here's hoping the rest of today and tomorrow is smooth sailing. I really need a breather from all the intensity.
-Blaine
Summers are pretty crazy around our house, and I'd bet that's actually pretty common, especially in cases in which the household features multiple children and two adults that both work (me, full time, her, part time + grad school). Summers are just busy.
That just seems wrong, though. I get the logic of why summers are so busy, but in my mind, summers should be when I slow things down and enjoy myself. If I were to pick one season in which to be busy, I'd pick winter.
I need to avoid statements like that, actually. Saying things like that just locks my mind into a single expected outcome. I need to be open to the possibility that winter can be great.
ANYWAY.
I've had about my fill of aggravation today. One of my personal challenges is that I lose perspective when I reach a certain level of aggravation, and I can't tell if someone is just trying to fuck with me or if they're just going about their business. I need to be a professional, not lose perspective, and just go about my business.
And my temper has been ... bad, lately. I haven't melted down, blown up, or anything like that, but I've had too many situations recently in which I've had to bite my tongue, recuse myself, or just leave the room for a bit. Most of them have been professional. What's tough, too, is that I work with a solid team of super-smart people, and most of the time, they're right on about stuff, which means that I need to be checking myself, and figuring out what's malfunctioning within me.
One x-factor is that I quit smoking about 5-6 weeks ago (maybe a little more), after over a little over 20 years of being a smoker. I'm thrilled with that choice, and I'm not going back, and I can't tell if that's having an impact.
Maybe it'll pass.
And it's not like things are bad right now. I'm letting minutiae dominate my view, but I'm also aware of the positives in life. My job still rocks, and when I'm not getting in my own way, I really enjoy it. My wife is amazing, and that's not just lip service. I really feel lighter and more at ease when we're able to spend time together. My kids are just fantastic and are, in many ways, charting the course for this family. I still love my gaming, when I have time to do it a little on the weekends. TIME. Ack.
I'm glad I'm recording this here, though. It'll be interesting to compare in a year, and see how I feel.
On the plus side, I am going to see Garbage tonight, for the first time. We (buddy and I) were supposed to see them like 20 years ago. They were gonna open for Smashing Pumpkins, and we were gonna leave after their set, so we didn't have to sit through the Pumpkins again (we'd seen them a few times, and they were also 'blah'). Unfortunately, the new keyboardist in the Pumpkins died, the tour got delayed, and Garbage went and did their own thing. Another time, I was gonna see them with a girlfriend who loved Garbage, but she and I had been in a pretty toxic pattern for like three years, so I dumped her via voicemail right before her first time seeing her favorite band ever. Yeah, that was a totally shit move, and it came back on me, as it should have.
Regardless, here we are, 20 years later, and I'm finally seeing them tonight. I've been a big fan for a long time, and I'm looking forward to it, even if it means I'll be exhausted tomorrow. That's gonna be the hardest part, actually.
Anyway, here's hoping the rest of today and tomorrow is smooth sailing. I really need a breather from all the intensity.
-Blaine
20160711
Just Another Manic Monday
Man, I am just a monster on Monday mornings now. Yikes. I can kinda joke around, but I get so annoyed with people that aren't focused on the discussion at hand, and get pretty fucking dismissive about things that I see as irrelevant to what I am discussing at that moment. Wow.
That's like four work Mondays in a row in which I'm just not feeling like dealing with people. I usually roll my eyes at people that are like that, too. When did I become one of them?
Part of it, I think, is that, for the summer, I get up at 530AM Mon-Thurs to accommodate the family schedule. To accomplish that, I dose myself with various pain relief PM pills to help me get to sleep early, but then I'm groggy as hell in the morning, and I still haven't quite slept enough.
I dunno. On one hand, I need to get over it, but on the other, I'm OK with asking people to cut me a little slack at the front end of the week.
On the positive side, I did finish the main campaign for Dishonored, which was a really fun game. And about the right length.
Dishonored and Doom, both, have recently hit home for me just how important traversal can be for a game. A big part of the reason I enjoy them both so thoroughly is that movement is easy and fun. WASD + mouse look + context buttons are great, and when the first-person control constantly lands you where you were expecting ... man, it's just so satisfying. And the 'Blink' power. Ah. So wonderful. By the end, I was Blinking everywhere. I'd Blink up behind a dude, stab him in the neck, Blink to another dude, stab, and on and on. It was so awesome.
And yeah, I ended up with a pretty high Chaos level, but I felt justified. I didn't kill everybody, but I did take out the ones that I felt had lied to me and/or betrayed me. Or if they shot at me. Or if I couldn't take the chance of leaving them alive. You get the idea.
I then moved on to the first of the Daud DLCs (The Knife of Dunwall). I think I should've held off for at least a month or two, actually. One, Daud's jump is just waaay too floaty relative to Corvo's, and two ... it's weird right back in with lowered stakes. I dunno. Maybe I'll chill on it for a bit.
Otherwise, I got back into Shadowrun Dragonfall Director's Cut. Yeah, OK, let me explain.
So, I have this thing where I'll hit max-frustration breaking point with a game, in which I decide 'this is no longer fun, so why am I spending time with it? I'll come back when I figure out how to beat this part that's making me crazy.' Sometimes, it's a week, sometimes it's nine months. In this case, it was nine months.
So, yeah, I saw that game in my 'installed' list in the Steam instance on my ROG, thought about it, walked around the house doing a little picking up, and then it dawned on me that a) I needed to leave one party member way behind while b) drawing the enemy forces into a choke point, and it worked!
And, man, I LOVE games by Harebrained Schemes. These guys are so good at what they do. The writing, art, combat, strategy, lore, and world-building are all top-notch in their games. I can't wait to play more, and then jump over to Hong Kong.
Of course, now, I'm at that point where I have too many games all going on. Dragonfall, Dishonored: The Knifs of Dunwall, Witcher 3: Blood and Wine, a second playthrough of Dragon Age Inquisition, the four MMOs I juggle, and I still wanna do another playthrough of Deus Ex: Human Revolution before Mankind Divided comes out. I think I'm gonna chill on Daud for now, focus on Dragonfall and Blood and Wine, then maybe come back to Daud after DXHR is done again. We'll see.
Oh, and this is a separate post for another time, but I installed Pokemon Go to bond with my oldest son, and it's been a lot of fun doing something with him where he's the expert instead of me. It's made him really happy, and it's been a cool way to spend time together. More on this later.
You playing anything cool lately? Anything coming out soon for which you are crazy-hyped?
-Blaine
Oh, and I streamed some Final Fantasy XIV for no reason, but ended up having a great discussion with chat about what defines a 'Final Fantasy' game. Check it out, and feel free to chime in the comments.
That's like four work Mondays in a row in which I'm just not feeling like dealing with people. I usually roll my eyes at people that are like that, too. When did I become one of them?
Part of it, I think, is that, for the summer, I get up at 530AM Mon-Thurs to accommodate the family schedule. To accomplish that, I dose myself with various pain relief PM pills to help me get to sleep early, but then I'm groggy as hell in the morning, and I still haven't quite slept enough.
I dunno. On one hand, I need to get over it, but on the other, I'm OK with asking people to cut me a little slack at the front end of the week.
On the positive side, I did finish the main campaign for Dishonored, which was a really fun game. And about the right length.
Dishonored and Doom, both, have recently hit home for me just how important traversal can be for a game. A big part of the reason I enjoy them both so thoroughly is that movement is easy and fun. WASD + mouse look + context buttons are great, and when the first-person control constantly lands you where you were expecting ... man, it's just so satisfying. And the 'Blink' power. Ah. So wonderful. By the end, I was Blinking everywhere. I'd Blink up behind a dude, stab him in the neck, Blink to another dude, stab, and on and on. It was so awesome.
And yeah, I ended up with a pretty high Chaos level, but I felt justified. I didn't kill everybody, but I did take out the ones that I felt had lied to me and/or betrayed me. Or if they shot at me. Or if I couldn't take the chance of leaving them alive. You get the idea.
I then moved on to the first of the Daud DLCs (The Knife of Dunwall). I think I should've held off for at least a month or two, actually. One, Daud's jump is just waaay too floaty relative to Corvo's, and two ... it's weird right back in with lowered stakes. I dunno. Maybe I'll chill on it for a bit.
Otherwise, I got back into Shadowrun Dragonfall Director's Cut. Yeah, OK, let me explain.
So, I have this thing where I'll hit max-frustration breaking point with a game, in which I decide 'this is no longer fun, so why am I spending time with it? I'll come back when I figure out how to beat this part that's making me crazy.' Sometimes, it's a week, sometimes it's nine months. In this case, it was nine months.
So, yeah, I saw that game in my 'installed' list in the Steam instance on my ROG, thought about it, walked around the house doing a little picking up, and then it dawned on me that a) I needed to leave one party member way behind while b) drawing the enemy forces into a choke point, and it worked!
And, man, I LOVE games by Harebrained Schemes. These guys are so good at what they do. The writing, art, combat, strategy, lore, and world-building are all top-notch in their games. I can't wait to play more, and then jump over to Hong Kong.
Of course, now, I'm at that point where I have too many games all going on. Dragonfall, Dishonored: The Knifs of Dunwall, Witcher 3: Blood and Wine, a second playthrough of Dragon Age Inquisition, the four MMOs I juggle, and I still wanna do another playthrough of Deus Ex: Human Revolution before Mankind Divided comes out. I think I'm gonna chill on Daud for now, focus on Dragonfall and Blood and Wine, then maybe come back to Daud after DXHR is done again. We'll see.
Oh, and this is a separate post for another time, but I installed Pokemon Go to bond with my oldest son, and it's been a lot of fun doing something with him where he's the expert instead of me. It's made him really happy, and it's been a cool way to spend time together. More on this later.
You playing anything cool lately? Anything coming out soon for which you are crazy-hyped?
-Blaine
Oh, and I streamed some Final Fantasy XIV for no reason, but ended up having a great discussion with chat about what defines a 'Final Fantasy' game. Check it out, and feel free to chime in the comments.
20160709
Saturday! Pheeew!
I might've said it before, and if so, it's worth saying again. For a short week, this felt like a looong week.
Now, it's Saturday. I got to sleep in until almost 9AM, I'm showered, I'm relaxing with my sons, I'm listening to Elder Scrolls Off the Record, and I'm typing at you. Good times. I'm thinking about taking the boys out for lunch today. Not sure where. Suggestions are welcome.
I fully plan to engage max chill this weekend. I got my sister-in-law and her boyfriend coming down today, and they're both cool people. I'm buying the UFC thing on PPV tonight for her man, for his birthday, I got a buddy coming over tonight to shoot the breeze, and we haven't seen each other in a while, and I got an itch for some MMO action, so either SWTOR, ESO, FFXIV, or Guild Wars 2 (or some combination thereof) is/are going to get played. Probably SWTOR, at least, since I wanna play the next chapter of Knights of the Fallen Empire, and I wanna continue in the Dark vs Light event.
Your vote here might matter.
All four are amazing games, I don't have nearly enough time for all four, three cost monthly money, I know, but all four are amazing games, and I love MMOs. I love RPGs in general, but I love having a main single-player RPG and an MMO to focus on. I'm fickle about the MMOs, though. I dunno. I'm weird.
I'll probably stream a bit, too. I wanted to stream my first foray into Red Dead Redemption on Xbox, since it's on backwards compatibility now, but I don't think I can stream to YouTube Gaming from Xbox One, which sucks ASS. I don't want to stream to Twitch, but I might anyway. We'll see.
I did have a couple GREAT streams the last couple days, though. PLEASE, if you haven't watched any of my stream recordings yet, check these out. The Doom one starts out slow (I had some dog issues), so jump ahead to six minutes. I guess I could just edit it.
Also, playing Inside was interesting. I do not play platformers, especially 2D, and especially puzzle-heavy. I got a request to go way outside my comfort zone with a game, and this one was suggested, and apparently, the results were hilarious. This was kind of a special video. Give it a look-see.
Anyway, check those out, and please give me some feedback, either here, or in that video's comments. And feel free to poke around my channel, take it all in, and give me some overall feedback. I love doing this stuff, and I wanna do it better.
If you have any requests to see me play something, lemme know. I'm pretty open.
Alright, time to plan for lunch. If I'm gonna stream later, I'll throw something up on my Twitter.
Word.
-Blaine
PS - I love Dark Matter and Killjoys SOOO MUCH. Give 'em a look.
Now, it's Saturday. I got to sleep in until almost 9AM, I'm showered, I'm relaxing with my sons, I'm listening to Elder Scrolls Off the Record, and I'm typing at you. Good times. I'm thinking about taking the boys out for lunch today. Not sure where. Suggestions are welcome.
I fully plan to engage max chill this weekend. I got my sister-in-law and her boyfriend coming down today, and they're both cool people. I'm buying the UFC thing on PPV tonight for her man, for his birthday, I got a buddy coming over tonight to shoot the breeze, and we haven't seen each other in a while, and I got an itch for some MMO action, so either SWTOR, ESO, FFXIV, or Guild Wars 2 (or some combination thereof) is/are going to get played. Probably SWTOR, at least, since I wanna play the next chapter of Knights of the Fallen Empire, and I wanna continue in the Dark vs Light event.
Your vote here might matter.
All four are amazing games, I don't have nearly enough time for all four, three cost monthly money, I know, but all four are amazing games, and I love MMOs. I love RPGs in general, but I love having a main single-player RPG and an MMO to focus on. I'm fickle about the MMOs, though. I dunno. I'm weird.
I'll probably stream a bit, too. I wanted to stream my first foray into Red Dead Redemption on Xbox, since it's on backwards compatibility now, but I don't think I can stream to YouTube Gaming from Xbox One, which sucks ASS. I don't want to stream to Twitch, but I might anyway. We'll see.
I did have a couple GREAT streams the last couple days, though. PLEASE, if you haven't watched any of my stream recordings yet, check these out. The Doom one starts out slow (I had some dog issues), so jump ahead to six minutes. I guess I could just edit it.
Also, playing Inside was interesting. I do not play platformers, especially 2D, and especially puzzle-heavy. I got a request to go way outside my comfort zone with a game, and this one was suggested, and apparently, the results were hilarious. This was kind of a special video. Give it a look-see.
Anyway, check those out, and please give me some feedback, either here, or in that video's comments. And feel free to poke around my channel, take it all in, and give me some overall feedback. I love doing this stuff, and I wanna do it better.
If you have any requests to see me play something, lemme know. I'm pretty open.
Alright, time to plan for lunch. If I'm gonna stream later, I'll throw something up on my Twitter.
Word.
-Blaine
PS - I love Dark Matter and Killjoys SOOO MUCH. Give 'em a look.
20160707
Too Much Reality
I don't ignore social problems. I just don't have the same instant outbursts of vitriol that have become fashionable in this age. It's like there's a race to see who can have a strong opinion the fastest. Just not my cup of tea. I'm content to hang back, observe, see what happens, and then, if I need to, form an opinion. At this point, most of it just sounds like children screaming.
I also don't think that 'cops killing black men' is as simple a problem as it's portrayed. Were I to look at it more closely, I'm guessing I'd find that socioeconomic problems on both sides are in play, as well as psychological issues on the part of the police. There's probably also some conditioning that's happening that predispose the two 'sides' to antagonism toward each other.
Regardless, if I pull way back and look at the issue from the perspective of time and space, I see a) things really are getting better. It's hard to see when it's all up in your face, but things really are getting better, and b) social media warriors ... most of them make their platform look like idiots. Bring reason and manners to the table or get the fuck out. All caps and hyperbole don't help your case a bit. When's the last time you got your mind changed about a political stance because of a Facebook post or fucking bumper sticker?
Anyway, it's tiresome. Were there actual discourse involved, I might be interested, but it's millions of people all trying to shout over each other. It's a mess.
And frankly, I'm more focused on Juno and Jupiter right now.
Thus, I'm thinking about what I want to accomplish with the rest of the summer.
Off the top of my head ...
01) finish Blood and Wine
02) finish Dishonored
03) Play through Deus Ex: Human Revolution: Director's Cut (I played the original release, but feel a playthrough of this would be a helpful refresher for the next game in August)
04) Build a basic RPG in Unity with the ORK Framework
05) drop another 20 pounds
06) blog nearly every day
07) build a stable streaming audience
I think that's probably plenty.
Anything in particular you all wanna see me stream? I'm mostly PC gaming, and have a ton of properly modded shit, and a huge library, so I can accommodate nearly any request.
I'm also thinking about starting to toss some fiction up here. Not sure. Maybe a weekly serial? We'll see. I've got some cool original stuff that I've worked on over the years, and I won't lie, I have a pretty bitchin' Star Wars fan fic idea from the Old Republic era that I've been itching to work on.
Anywho, it's been a fucking hell of a week, and I'm ready to chill and stream.
Word. Thanks for reading. I hope reality stops harshing my buzz like immediately.
-Blaine
I also don't think that 'cops killing black men' is as simple a problem as it's portrayed. Were I to look at it more closely, I'm guessing I'd find that socioeconomic problems on both sides are in play, as well as psychological issues on the part of the police. There's probably also some conditioning that's happening that predispose the two 'sides' to antagonism toward each other.
Regardless, if I pull way back and look at the issue from the perspective of time and space, I see a) things really are getting better. It's hard to see when it's all up in your face, but things really are getting better, and b) social media warriors ... most of them make their platform look like idiots. Bring reason and manners to the table or get the fuck out. All caps and hyperbole don't help your case a bit. When's the last time you got your mind changed about a political stance because of a Facebook post or fucking bumper sticker?
Anyway, it's tiresome. Were there actual discourse involved, I might be interested, but it's millions of people all trying to shout over each other. It's a mess.
And frankly, I'm more focused on Juno and Jupiter right now.
Thus, I'm thinking about what I want to accomplish with the rest of the summer.
Off the top of my head ...
01) finish Blood and Wine
02) finish Dishonored
03) Play through Deus Ex: Human Revolution: Director's Cut (I played the original release, but feel a playthrough of this would be a helpful refresher for the next game in August)
04) Build a basic RPG in Unity with the ORK Framework
05) drop another 20 pounds
06) blog nearly every day
07) build a stable streaming audience
I think that's probably plenty.
Anything in particular you all wanna see me stream? I'm mostly PC gaming, and have a ton of properly modded shit, and a huge library, so I can accommodate nearly any request.
I'm also thinking about starting to toss some fiction up here. Not sure. Maybe a weekly serial? We'll see. I've got some cool original stuff that I've worked on over the years, and I won't lie, I have a pretty bitchin' Star Wars fan fic idea from the Old Republic era that I've been itching to work on.
Anywho, it's been a fucking hell of a week, and I'm ready to chill and stream.
Word. Thanks for reading. I hope reality stops harshing my buzz like immediately.
-Blaine
20160705
Aaand we're back!
I got back last night from my weekend in exile. Good times were had.
They live in northern Illinois, about 90 miles outta Chicago. Close enough that driving into Chicago for a day isn't too bad, but far enough out that everything smiles like pig farm everywhere.
I got lucky with the in-laws I got. I don't have the horror stories that a lotta people have. That being said, while I like them just fine, I'm not one for rural living, or the lack of creature comforts. I've spent every moment of my adult life living in either the city or the suburbs, so the rural thing is, even after fifteen years of visiting them, still a drag.
Regardless ...
... we drove up Friday, got to eat dinner at my favorite restaurant, The Corner Grill, I got to meet my (hopefully) future brother-in-law, who's cool as shit, and then I wound down the evening with some Witcher 3: Blood and Wine.
Oh, and the my in-laws don't have AC or clean water (well water is not clean, sorry), but they do have broadband + wifi now, which was a HUGE game-changer. I also grabbed some brief time with Chrono Trigger on iOS, because I forgot my fucking Vita.
Saturday was party time. We went and saw some friends and their new baby, and then my in-laws hosted a big-ass blowout. My oldest son drove my youngest son around on a tractor, which was hilarious. Lotsa people smoked in front of me, and I didn't smoke, which was cool. I wound down that evening with a new character in Dragon Age Inquisition. A female Qunari rogue that grew up in Thedas, and resents the other species because of it. The imported saves feature strongly anti-Mage choices. Should be interesting.
Sunday, we drove into Chicago and saw The Book of Mormon, which was AMAZING. Go see it. Now. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Also, it helps that my family was among the founders of the Church of LDS, but my faction split off about the middle of last century. Grandpa fell in love with a Catholic girl. A man's gotta do what he's gotta do to win the woman, ya know?
Anyway, the musical is fantastic. Everything about it. The performances, the music, the humor, the social commentary, the choreography, and on and on. SO GOOD.
And then dinner at D'Agostino's, one of my favorites from when I did my undergrad in Chicago. We met up with some old friends, and good times were had by all.
I love visiting Chicago. I cannot say enough about how incredible my undergrad years were there, living downtown, meeting my wife, partying my ass off, using public transit, getting into the local scene, and ... it was a remarkable time in my life. I'm also glad I left when I did. I'm from St. Louis, and it was time to come home and start a family.
But, I really need to spend like a week in Chicago some time. It would be cool to head over to the Columbia campus while school is actually in session, soak some of that in, check out some of my old haunts. I'd have no intent of reliving the past, but I always find it fascinating to see the ravages of time in person.
And Chicago is just a fun place to visit. I'd never live there again, as it wore on me after a while. It's an incredibly negative town with an almost oppressive atmosphere, and Cubs fans are bandwagon-jumping jackasses, even if their team is the beloved darling of ESPN and Fox Sports.
And, for a dumpy little league park, Wrigley is a fun place to hang out and see how the Cubs are going to complete fuck it up yet again.
And then, yesterday, we came back. And today I had a REALLY intense day at work. And now I'm writing at you. And now I'm ready to sneak in a little gaming.
Remind me, I wanna talk about alternate playthroughs of BioWare games some time this week. Word.
*HUGGLES!*
-Blaine
They live in northern Illinois, about 90 miles outta Chicago. Close enough that driving into Chicago for a day isn't too bad, but far enough out that everything smiles like pig farm everywhere.
I got lucky with the in-laws I got. I don't have the horror stories that a lotta people have. That being said, while I like them just fine, I'm not one for rural living, or the lack of creature comforts. I've spent every moment of my adult life living in either the city or the suburbs, so the rural thing is, even after fifteen years of visiting them, still a drag.
Regardless ...
... we drove up Friday, got to eat dinner at my favorite restaurant, The Corner Grill, I got to meet my (hopefully) future brother-in-law, who's cool as shit, and then I wound down the evening with some Witcher 3: Blood and Wine.
Oh, and the my in-laws don't have AC or clean water (well water is not clean, sorry), but they do have broadband + wifi now, which was a HUGE game-changer. I also grabbed some brief time with Chrono Trigger on iOS, because I forgot my fucking Vita.
Saturday was party time. We went and saw some friends and their new baby, and then my in-laws hosted a big-ass blowout. My oldest son drove my youngest son around on a tractor, which was hilarious. Lotsa people smoked in front of me, and I didn't smoke, which was cool. I wound down that evening with a new character in Dragon Age Inquisition. A female Qunari rogue that grew up in Thedas, and resents the other species because of it. The imported saves feature strongly anti-Mage choices. Should be interesting.
Sunday, we drove into Chicago and saw The Book of Mormon, which was AMAZING. Go see it. Now. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Also, it helps that my family was among the founders of the Church of LDS, but my faction split off about the middle of last century. Grandpa fell in love with a Catholic girl. A man's gotta do what he's gotta do to win the woman, ya know?
Anyway, the musical is fantastic. Everything about it. The performances, the music, the humor, the social commentary, the choreography, and on and on. SO GOOD.
And then dinner at D'Agostino's, one of my favorites from when I did my undergrad in Chicago. We met up with some old friends, and good times were had by all.
I love visiting Chicago. I cannot say enough about how incredible my undergrad years were there, living downtown, meeting my wife, partying my ass off, using public transit, getting into the local scene, and ... it was a remarkable time in my life. I'm also glad I left when I did. I'm from St. Louis, and it was time to come home and start a family.
But, I really need to spend like a week in Chicago some time. It would be cool to head over to the Columbia campus while school is actually in session, soak some of that in, check out some of my old haunts. I'd have no intent of reliving the past, but I always find it fascinating to see the ravages of time in person.
And Chicago is just a fun place to visit. I'd never live there again, as it wore on me after a while. It's an incredibly negative town with an almost oppressive atmosphere, and Cubs fans are bandwagon-jumping jackasses, even if their team is the beloved darling of ESPN and Fox Sports.
And, for a dumpy little league park, Wrigley is a fun place to hang out and see how the Cubs are going to complete fuck it up yet again.
And then, yesterday, we came back. And today I had a REALLY intense day at work. And now I'm writing at you. And now I'm ready to sneak in a little gaming.
Remind me, I wanna talk about alternate playthroughs of BioWare games some time this week. Word.
*HUGGLES!*
-Blaine
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